I have spent the past few months in a strange place of transition: after dedicating my energy towards creating opportunities for other artists, I decided that it was time to start dedicating more of my efforts towards creating my own opportunities.
I very recently left an incredibly meaningful, necessary, and increasingly stressful position that I loved IMMENSELY as the organization made budgetarty cuts. I loved this organization and the work of Executive Producer, as well as the abilities I had within this role. I was able to support independent artists of all art forms, I produced a 12 day, low-cost, international, original performance art festival. I was advocating for independent artists. Interesting people thought I was interesting – or more frequently “adorable”*. I had accepted the extreme difficulty of the position, but in the end it felt like a very bad relationship – one where your friends would take you aside and be like “girl, what are you doing with that mess?”. I was told there was no longer funding available to pay my stipend. I had could no longer stay. After 3 years was given less than two weeks notice.
I was at a bit of a loss, I didn’t know what I was going to do next. But I remembered something:
I did all of those things. Me. The position was not written to include these roles – I wrote them into the position. That position was me. And I can be me ANYWHERE!
It has been just over a week since I hosted my last event for the organization and turned in my passwords and accounts. And I gotta say, when I turned on that email responder, it was…absolutely wonderful! I almost instantly sat up straighter and breathed easier. I was actually really happy! Still am!
I also left my second day job. It only worked because I could make it work with my other work – and while I loved the staff and the vibe, now is the time. I need to be working for me and not just for others. I need to be fulfilling to my creative needs.
So it is with gusto that I am back at it! I have worked for others, in many ways, my entire life. I have been creating for Wild Imaginarium for the past 4 years as a sidegig. My normal day looked pretty full: day job, second job, contract gigs, and then wild work/home/relationship/sleep. Now I am creating new items and listing them in my etsy shop, working on production elements for Storylight:A Festival of Fairytale, and creating two posts for the righteous dame series on wildimaginarium.com – and that is today! Tomorrow, who knows?
Today, at five pm, I become me. Just me. My identity will not be tied to my roles in relation to others and their work, or their dreams- instead, for good or bad, this is my opportunity to live, work, and dream authentically. It is daunting, certainly, but I cannot wait!
My motto is “Fortune Favors the Bold” and I am going to live up to it!
*I have theories about this and I am pretty sure that this is my natural “golden retriever puppy” state of excitement at new projects and opportunities. I like collaborating with artists of all sorts, I love learning what others know!