My little one is getting so big. Finn just turned 21-months old and they’ve got big feelings, big opinions, and make big decisions about their surroundings.
We live in a ground-floor apartment and I worry about security for our little family. I don’t like the idea of someone “peeking in” on us, especially not my kiddo. When I added this windowfilm to their room I did so for added security, but it’s me so ya know that I had to make it magical! I worked hard to hang it and wanted to get a full picture of how it played with light throughout the day. I also wanted to get my kiddo’s reaction when they saw the rainbows in their full glory.
After the first full day, I asked my little one if they liked it and if it could stay. Finn laid down on the carpet and rolled in the rainbow sunbeams, smiling with a huge toothy grin. I took that as a 21 month-old’s approval!
I love being a mum, but it’s not easy. As a matter of fact it is absolutely the toughest thing I have ever done. Add pandemic stress, moving across country and leaving/losing friends group and support structures and I am actually learning to relax while parenting a toddler! Whaaaaat?!? I know! Seriously.
Before the onset of covid, I worked in theatre and events. I planned, directed, designed, hosted, and performed in large scale shows, productions, fundraisers, arts festivals, weddings and other large gatherings and celebrations.
I loved that work and I was very good at it. I was just getting to the point where I could really choose my projects and had created a nice little niche for myself with lots of room to grow and expand. I was busy. I was respected. I was preparing to move and was mid-negotiations with three (THREE!) different meaningful positions in the pacific northwest. I had friends there, hopes, dreams and a new brand-new baby – everything seemed pretty great!
Then Covid struck. Like most folx, I will have a pre-pandemic story, a during Covid story, and a post-pandemic story.
When the pandemic began I had tough choices to make: my lease was up, all of my projects (and therefore income) were gone, my job offers dried up literally overnight. I had a 5 month old baby and I knew I needed support. So I moved back to where my family is. I am rebuilding my entire life in a place where I know no one but my immediate family.
It sucks. Well, lots of it sucks. Most of it really.
I miss my old life, and though Covid took so much away from me it did give me a few opportunities. The greatest being time with my child! Time that would have looked different in my other life. Time that would have been different in my other life. But now, because of this horrible disease I was forced to focus, to be conscientious, to be mindful, about how to be a good parent. And a great parent to MY child.
I am lucky to be a mum, every day I am reminded of this. But I still need to stop and remind myself how utterly miraculous and magical this time is – and little rainbows sure do help!
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